The Devil Inside Us All

I was reminiscing on my childhood with others last night, as you do. We went through music we used to listen to and fads and trends which came and died within the 90's. The conversation eventually turned to programming, in particular cartoons, and I re-surfaced this brilliant character from the endless skip of my mind.



Ohhhhhhh yesssssss. The 'Red Guy' from cow and chicken. Many many good memories of this masochistic, vermillion, homosexual devil, for example his constant waxing and polishing of his arse. He would then consequently walk using his buttocks as replacement legs.



Truly comic genius. That is all.

Games aye...

Just got skate 2 today, tis good I suppose. Alot has changed which cal
l's for "Allen's Mega List of Pro's and Con's,"

Pro's:

You can get off your board, enougth said.
The lighting's pretty tech, you know realistic lighting effects. Not sheened bollocks.
The new city is nice aswell, lots of new shit to hit up and old fave's aswell.

Con's

To be honest it's pretty much the same game, just with tweaks.
The gameplay does get a bit repetative.
It's proper whored out advertising-wise. But the first one was aswell.

Overall worth the money. I got the last one in store aswell, the little kids faces waiting behind me were priceless hahahaha.

Keep trucking. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qae_TUTeGo

Canned fish...

Being the godly grandson I am I decided to help my grandmother go through her cupboards to chuck anything she wasn't going to eat. To understand this anecdote you must first take into account my grandmother's steely, war-effort attitude towards canned food. Anything canned is good to consume as long as its stayed in the can for 'X' period.

In Example A's case, you can clearly guess its age by it's truly ghetto packaging.



Place your bets people before scrolling down, the closest person to guessing their age gets to have them as a keepsake.



Yeah that's right people, these fish are officially older than your's truly. Soon due their 21st birthday, a momentous occasion indeed.

And sorry about the utter slackness of posts over the last few days. I haven't had a laptop for a while, due to the famed 'Blue screen of death'. I'm also a little bit ill. Peace.

Guest prose from the spindely fingers of a Mr Joseph Hartley.

I'm just going to give you the full piece in its entirity. Enjoy, and if you are offended easily read on, Hell read it twice. I hate you sort of people anyway, you're the reason that Ross and Brand are hounded by the full reading demographic of the so called 'Red Tops'. Congratulations, Here is 'Lewd Pancake'.

your mood expounded in a fuzzy 45% offing that perambulates through her hair. the scarlet harlot is ensconced on your chest. your arm minces and adumbrates with her back which is currently in negotiations with your bed in a cheeky flank to consume your estranged limb. you ignore it. its not part of your unison and frankly redundant now that your colleague can do all the wanking for you.

youre completely besotted with this mad lady, anymore more navarro would have jack-knifed her into a state of utter lunacy and unconcscious dancing and you say good for you! you conquered that thing that was previously smoking bad manners and snorting decorum like it was going retro. her rioja mane begins to play footsie with your smoke as it coils and drools and stumbles through the ocean.

tracing the conga smoke ribbon to your satisfaction cigarette, putting your ear to its churlish gob, you hear it "Well done boy! well done!" her breathing switched tracks, the jaundiced curtains edify and give pep and vim to her drop-dead skin and as she opens that eye you hold hands in an ineffable, metaphysical consciousness and you both know. then you eat her out before deciding on a pancake.

Soap's Today.

I really don't know what it is about old soap but mannnnn is it good. Shit I'm talking bout is you classic brands such as Wright's Coal Tar:



And Pear's Transparent:




All other modern soaps may as well be made out of water, you can't even feel them working. A whole world away from the painful, burning sensation provided by the older brands. Yeah you'll smell like you've just finished a shift at beamish on a hot summers day but at least you’re clean and that’s what I personally prioritize. So get yourself out of the house, find you’re nearest boots and take a trip back a good eighty years when cleaning was pain.

On a lighter note, while on my daily trip to the co-op today I passed an elderly woman cackling uncontrollably while her carer talked at her about the weather. You know why she was laughing? Certainly not mental decay, the woman just took great humor from the modern day usage of inferior soap

Ever so slightly racist? I'll let you be the judge.

Alright, now that i'm 100% sure that the test worked I'll acually blog something of importance. Recently I purchased a face mask from boots (I am fully aware of the homosexuality of this purchase) and decided to apply it the following morning. The mask felt refreshing and the added cocoa butter smelt really good, so ends the pro's of this product.

The con's follow...


I resemble the classic "Mammeeee, mammeeee," hotel entertainers of 1930's fame. Score.


John was loving it, I secretly think that he's imagined me black in one of his dreams. Also I do not have an explanation for the underlined text at the top. Love it, embrace it, its a way of life.

First...

Mainly a test to see if I can actually post. QWERTY. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ... Gay haha.